It's a blue blue day.

I feel so lonely nowadays, especially where all my friends are all over the world. :'( I miss talking to people without being judged. heck, I just miss chit chatting like a normal kid. I miss loads of stuff, like secondary one during recess when me, jess and Iri would (have to) walk to and fro at the dataran merdeka just talking nonsense. I hate that everything had to change when we were split into different classes. Everyone else found their group to click in and I'm just, everywhere. I'm trying to be optimistic and stuff, but still it hurts to know that you have no one to talk to. I talk to Him and try to not think so much, but the feeling keeps coming back. He's the only one I can rely on to spill my feelings and cry to cause sometimes friends might be busy with their own problems. :''''(

Faulty Change Plan # 5 James MacDonald, Senior Pastor of Harvest Bible Chapel

¹⁵I do not understand my actions. For I do what I do not want, but I do the very thing that I hate.¹⁶Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. ¹⁷So no it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. ¹⁸For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. - Romans 7:15-18

Another faulty method that has promised to bring about change among Christians we call monasticism. Monastic comes from the Greek word, monos, which meansto be alone. The early monks actually lived alone in the desert. The first monastic community was St. Anthony of Thebes in 271 A.D. Monks practiced three main things: work, prayer, and meditation. The goal of being a Monastic was true holiness by complete suppression of the will or the flesh. Very popular during the Middles Ages, thousands of monasteries around Europe housed men or women who took three vows: a vow of poverty, I will own nothing, a vow of chastity, I will abstain from all sexuality, and a vow of obedience, 100% submission to authority.It was a very difficult life. And it failed to bring about the kind of basic change that each of us needs.

You (and I) do not have the ability to live the Christian life. God has made no provision for you to live the Christian life apart from Him. Christianity is not trying harder or doing more. Christianity is an intimate, personal relationship with Jesus Christ who is alive and lives His life by His Spirit through you. Christianity is the Holy Spirit living in us.

“I don’t know what to do.” The Spirit convicts me of right and wrong.

“I don’t know what to say.” The Spirit convicts me what to say.

“I don’t know how to handle this.” The Spirit helps me with my infirmities because I know not how to do what I ought.

Monastic change tries to use human employed spiritual techniques to suppress the flesh: “I won’t do it! I won’t do it!” And here’s the reason why that doesn’t work. If you’ve ever failed in a diet—I certainly have done that—you know the tendency. You try and try to do the right thing. But when (not if) you fail, you do the wrong thing on steroids. Even the classic spiritual disciplines like Bible study, prayer, and fasting, have no power to bring about necessary change unless they are empowered by the Holy Spirit.

I don’t have the power to change myself. That’s monastic change—it doesn’t work. Put that in a bag and take it to the street.

Journal:

• What are the differences between the disciplines of the Christian life undertaken as a personal effort and undertaken under the power of the Holy Spirit?
• Where have I experienced this difference in my relationship with Christ?

Prayer: Father, I need to be reminded over and over again that growing as a believer doesn’t ever mean I outgrow my need for You to empower, guide, and sustain my life as a Christian. Thank You for Your faithfulness not only to help me see what needs to be changed but then applying Your power to bring about that change in me. I count on that life-changing power in Jesus’ name, Amen.

You make the world go round.

I wanna know you more. I wanna know what's on your mind. I wanna know you inside and out. I wanna know what it feels like to be close to you, to share your thoughts and desires, to know your plans for me. I wanna know how great a God you are. How awesome and wonderful you are and how you work in unimaginable ways! I wanna know you, Lord. Give me a bigger servant heart so that I may serve you with ALL of my heart, mind and strength. Teach me what it means to surrender my life to you 'cause the world CANNOT and WILL NOT satisfy my needs and desires in me. Teach me to take joy in whatever I do for You. I want You. <3